Just SAY it!

Just SAY it!

Irritations and delights are my way of experiencing the world. Sharing them is my way of contributing. It's great to keep abreast of news and views to stay alive. Just saying what you're thinking is necessary to living. As Carlos Castaneda said "Don Juan always told me, "Make a gesture. A gesture is nothing more than a deliberate act undertaken for the power that comes from making a decision. ...You see, the path of the heart is not a road of incessant introspection or mystical flight, but a way of engaging the joys and sorrows of the world." In order to truly experience the world you have to be participating in it with other people. Just SAY it! is a weekly column about my take on my world at the time: a little innerview of one developing human.

This week I'm heading to a high school reunion in my home town. Our class has a very active website and the reunion plans have been discussed and debated and argued over the past few months. The most hilarious postings have been from those who are wheedling, cajoling, and threatening people to participate in a golf scramble, and the various replies to those posts. The golf-promotion has taken on a life of its own to the point that I was compelled to write a very silly reply:

Eulogy to god-golf in hideous verse:

The great God "Golf" did rear its head
Alas, to bring reunion dread
It sprung benignly as a game
A club, a rock, a path to tame
Then as the competition grew
The techies forged the game anew
The storied advent of space technology
Engendered a new golf ethology
This group of fundamental views
Barred nothing from its evil ruse
In keeping with its deity
It swung at all with enmity
It garnered water in all corners
Eschewing farmers, coercing donors
It catered to the well-endowed
For almost everyone else was cowed
A "sport" for even the non-athletic
Its appeal was really most pathetic
For really, it was merely thisA club, a ball, a chance at bliss
That bliss, however, quite elusive
Many a golfer became abusiveIn fact, the golfers often cried
And many a club who failed, hast died
At failure they were broke in two
And then the mourners ever grew
Addicted, to this pagan scheme
It became a monstrous hideous scene
Whence any who started could not stop
The same results would always drop
Despite this tortuous pattern set
The golfers kept their clubs, you bet

The golfers could not suffer alone
They pushed their God far past their zone
What? You don't golf? They harped with glee
Well then, my dear we'll just help theeT
o see our way to your salvation
Non-golfers said "what in tarnation?'
Is nothing sacred in this golfnation?
We wonder what new rumination
These golfers may impose on us
Our very will is in their truss
They cannot comprehend a "no"
Wherefore will our negation go?
Does good god golf spur torture on?
Shall we an armed guard post at dawn?
Nay, save us merry golfers, please
Spare us from your wine and cheese
Spare us sordid and heinous acts
Give us, we plead, deserved pax
If good god golf doth trump thy mind
Pray, leave us, and all of ours, behind
If thou wish to swing at balls on tees
Proceed then, leave us to our zees

The time for rest of god-golf comes
It shall not reign, for I have Tums